Why I Hate The Environment

Posted: June 17, 2009 in Environmentalism, Global Warming, Rants, Utter Inshanity!

They took out the paper towels in the bathroom to save paper, and replaced it with an electric blow dryer thing. Ah, but wait, to save electricity, it is a low power “green” dryer that essential wafts a warm breeze over my hands.

I want enough wind power to peel skin cells off the back of my hand, taking any germs with them.

But nooooooooo.  Gotta be green.  And damp.

I hate the environment.  GIVE ME BACK MY PAPER TOWELS!!!  {{shakes fist in impotent fury at a deaf and uncaring world.}}

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Comments
  1. Keyser Söze says:

    Surely the fault lies with the environmentalists rather than the environment…

  2. Steve B says:

    If it weren’t for the environment, it wouldn’t need protecting. See the inescapable logic there?

    Clearly, it is the officious, odious busybodies who run the current envioronmentalist cabal with whom I am the most wroth.

    We are dumbing down our technology to the point where it is not only useless, but counterproductive, all in the name of the “environment.”

    If you put in a dryer that uses half the electricity, but it takes me twice as long to dry my hands, what’s the net gain, really?

    The real agenda is that they’ve made it so frustrating to use “green” techology that I won’t use it at all, and thus it ultimately will use NO electricity! What an amazing savings!

    Besides, drying hands are what your pant legs are for, right?

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