What ever happened to cooties?!

Posted: December 11, 2007 in Christianity, Parenting

My seven year old daughter complained the other day about how one of the boys in another class was bugging her.  I guess he was trying to get one of his friends to ask my daughter for her phone number.  Yeah.  Apparently he wants to “date” her.

Date her?  She’s in 2nd GRADE!!!!

I was rather hoping not to have to face this particular specter for some time yet.  B.J. is his name. I’m sure he’s a nice kid.  Yeah. Right.  Probably a future drop out and drug dealer.

I can’t imagine what a second grader thinks is involved in dating.  Probably sharing your Cheetos at lunch or something.  Now, I must admit to being somewhat torn between thinking, “Oh, isn’t that cute” and the alternative of,” Why that little…what’s he think he wants with MY daughter?!  Why I oughta….”

I think I’ve discovered an easy fix.  I’m gonna go all old-school on him.  If he wants to date MY daughter, he’s gonna have to ask ME first!  HAH!  That oughta fix his little red wagon.  Kind of a pre-screening.  If a boy is interested enough in my little girl to face up to a grumpy old fart with a mean scowl and poor disposition, well then he might be legit.  Might be. 

I suppose there might, just MIGHT be a few good boys still out there; but in today’s day and age, I’m not really all that confident.  I don’t cotton to no playaaz.  What with me having been a bit of a playa myself in the day, I hold a pretty strong bias common to most men of daughters against the intentions and moral fiber of most of the male species.  Yes, even in the 2nd grade.

I always figured that about the time she comes of age for that whole..{{grrk}} dating thing, I’d start keeping a baseball bat and a Bible by the door.  When the young feller comes a calling, I’ll pull him aside for a brief chat.  I’ll say something like, “Son, my daughter was raised in a Christian house with Christian values.  So I’m gonna offer you a choice, my boy,” as I hold up first the Bible, then the Bat.  “You follow one, or you get the other!”

Seems pretty cut and dried to me.

  1. dinosaur says:

    I think you need to be cleaning a shotgun when they come by.

  2. Steve B says:

    That’ll work, too! Or maybe the shotgun replaces the bat…

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