A list, in brief, of some of the things in this world that I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around:
- Towels you aren’t supposed to dry hands with.
- Soaps you aren’t supposed to wash your hands with.
- Couches you aren’t supposed to sit on.
- Rugs you aren’t supposed to walk on.
- Candles you aren’t supposed to burn.
- Non-alcoholic beer.
- Someone getting upset because you got food on the tablecloth. Isn’t a tablecloth supposed to keep food off the table? If you don’t want to get any food stains on it, why is it on the table, underneath the plates?
- Pillows you aren’t supposed to sleep on.
- Grass you aren’t supposed to walk on.
- Trees you aren’t supposed to climb.
- A girl who has clearly put quite a bit of time, effort, and no small amount of padding, trusses and straps into setting her cleavage ever so tastefully on display, but then gets all huffy when I look.
- Guy is talking on a cell phone. In the middle of Starbucks. I snicker at something he says into the phone. He gives me a dirty look, puts the phone against his shoulder and huffs, “Do you MIND?” like I invaded his privacy or something. And then goes back to talking on the cell phone. In the middle of Starbucks.