Plastic Spoons

Posted: June 15, 2007 in Celebrating Diversity, Christianity, Environmentalism, Global Warming

I have yet another disturbing and deeply intimate personal revelation to make here on my own little corner of Blogtopia:

I wash plastic spoons.

You know, those crazy picnic spoons you buy by the bag for $1.29 in the paper-towel and napkin aisle? I reuse them. I take them in my lunch, so if I lose one, or if it gets just too nasty after I nosh down my Dinty Moore, well, I can chuck it. But I usually don’t.

And do you know why? Of course not.  Then you’d be either a psychic or a stalker.

It’s not because I’m poor, and can’t afford real metal implements, and so need to stretch the flatware until the next batch of food stamps roll in. Which, don’t get me wrong, I’ve DONE, so don’t think I’m busting on anyone who does have to do that, cuz I feel your pain, trust me.

I do it because {{gulp}} I’m really a…{{shudders, hangs head, heavy sigh, etc}}…tree-hugging enviro-groopie at heart.  

Yes, this is my shame. I’m not quite in the chain-myself-in-a tree and bathe-in-a-bucket-for-a-week category, but I don’t throw away plastic spoons because…they’re plastic. They don’t break down in landfills, and they give off flurocarbons when incinerated.

And you know what else? I snip the rings on soda carriers, too. Yup, so little dolphins and nesting terns don’t get their little snouts caught all up in an empty Pepsi bra.

I compost.  I pick up trash on the street when I’m out running.  I even recycle! Oh, the SHAME!  How will I ever face my other earth-despoiling conservative friends again? Or my Christian wacko “we’re gonna be raptured, so why not burn this place to the ground while we CAN” counterparts?  Such humiliation.

I know, I know, it’s only supposed to be liberals who care about the environment.  Conservatives are all about strip mining and dredge fishing and “isn’t the hole in the ozone a good thing cuz then it’ll let out all the greenhouse gases?” 

What can I say, I’m a rebel.

  1. phineas g. says:

    I feel your pain. For years I’ve gone around hiding my environmentally friendly ways. But now, now, I’ve been given courage and strength, now I’ll be able to roll the recycle bin out in the morning without putting a paper bag over my head.

    Of course, the main reason I do the snip the plastic six pack thing, is we rescued a sea turtle one time with a ring around its neck.

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