Random Thoughts, # 426 in a series

Posted: January 17, 2007 in Celebrating Diversity, Coffee, Environmentalism, Politics, Random Thoughts, Rants

–  When a dog barks incenssantly at 3:00am, is it the fault of the dog, or is it the fault of the owner for not installing a shock collar and cranking the thing up to “Flambe’?”  A dog barks.  Dogs are stupid.  A stupid dog barking non-stop for an hour at 3:00am for no apparent reason is a natural act.  My wanting to head-stomp the owner for ignoring it is also a natural reaction.

By the same token, when some little demon-spawn is shrieking her ever-lovin’ head off and petulantly flinging french fries and nugget bits in the middle of McDonalds while I am trying ever-so-patiently to enjoy my sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddle, is it the fault of the two-year old progeny of Satan, or the fault of the mom for not slapping the little crumbsnatcher silly with the flat of her sandle until she JUST SHUTS UP!!  After all, little kids cry, they shriek, they have violent, low-bloodsugar meltdowns.  It’s a natural act.  However, my wanting to commit some violent and potentially unnatural act on the deliberately oblivious mom who lets it continue for the better part of 20 minutes without a) brutalizing the child into submission, or b) taking the little festering snot nodule home and leaving the rest of us in peace, is, I think, also a natural reaction.

–  I will never be a “good” environmentalist, because I believe that the environment should be protected FOR people, not FROM people.  The whole “no road, no trails” BS is not only folly, but a betrayal of the stewardship of these lands by our fine Federal government.  They are called PUBLIC lands for a reason.

 – Durbin, Pelosi, Boxer.  Three of the biggest reasons I will forever resist progressivism with every fiber of my being, with ever ounce of fortitude and wherewithal I possess, to the bitter end of my last, gasping breath.

– I think that if Martin Luther King could see the condition of the Black Communities of today, he might almost want a return to the 50’s.  Have we moved forwards, or backwards?  According to MLK, who is responsible for the “plight” of the black man?  The black man, or the white man?  According to MLK, who is responsible for an individual’s station, status, and welfare?  Who has the greatest, if not the sole responsibility for improving or changing that condition?  Let me give you a hint:  Black, white, man or woman, indian, immigrant, or citizen, the responsibility rests WITH YOU!  Stop blaming everyone but yourself for your problems.

– I’ve realized that I can be somewhat of an a**hole at times.  I’ve also realized that I’m okay with that.

– You know, that quaint trend of using asterisks to softcoat swear words?  Kinda silly.  When someone reads the sentence, their brain drops the asterisks and they read the word to themselves in all its profane glory.  You might as well have yelled it in their ear.  If you’re going to use the word, use the word.  Otherwise don’t.  Unless you’re quoting someone.  Then fudge out the WHOLE world, not just a few crucial vowels or consonants.

– This country is in a tailspin, not because of the Democrats or Republicans, but because of the Democrats AND Republicans.  Because we have become so polarized, and so beholden to special interests and minority shills that we are tearing ourselves apart from the inside out.  Because their are powerful people in Congress who will propose or oppose something not because it is right, but merely because its the opposite of what the opposing party wants. We are doing the islamicists job for them.

– You know what I hate?  Worse than black licorice, or brussel sprouts? (Okay, maybe not worse than brussel sprouts.)  But you know what just chafes me worse than wearing brand new Levis with no underwear?  Shtank.  What is “shtank,” you ask?  Shtank is that smell when you sit down in the bathroom stall next to a guy who’s clearly got some sort of medical condition.  When some dude who KNOWS he shouldn’t each shellfish and a dairy-rich alfredo sauce was in the stall just before you, and you walk in thinking you’re gonna get a few choice moments aways from phone and email, only to be assaulted with some putrid anal effluvium the likes of which would make Shrek’s nose hairs curl.  Shtank is that odor that molecularly bonds with oxygen molecules so that when you walk into the office bathroom after the guy who’s just started his new “high-fiber” regimen, and you quite literally can’t breathe.  Hate that.  A lot.

– On a more positive note, I’ve discovered the joys of Dunkin Donuts coffee.  I know, I know,  I said I was going to quit drinking coffee (chortle, guffaw).  Yeah. Right.  I lied.  That will never happen.  Face it – I’m addicted for life.  But I digress.   I’ve heard from several sources who’d sooner clean car parts with Starbucks coffee than drink it, that DD coffee is much better.  I’ve come to agree.  It’s sweet, without being frou-frou.  Smooth, not bitter.  Cleans up real nice with a little flavored creamer, or just black.  It’s a good, solid, all around coffee that doesn’t cost an armandaleg per pound.  Highly recommended.

– We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog-surfing.

  1. joe-6-pack says:

    As for the shtank, that is a good argument to allow cigarette smoking in restrooms, to counteract those foul, sulfurous odors.

    It’s when you want to holler out “Hey buddy, you doin’ OK?”, but you are afraid to open you mouth to take a breath, lest you hurl. After all, you want to make sure the poor dude didn’t die in there.

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