Headlyin’ Newz

Posted: August 16, 2006 in Nearly News, Unblogging

From CNN:

“Suicide Bomb” at Iraq party HQ kills 9, injures 36
New specialty drink served at popular Rave hotspot tainted with a bad batch of Mezcal.

Aussies on lookout for ugly sheep
“All the good looking ones are already taken.”

France ‘faces high terror threat’ 
Considers immediate surrender to be the best course of action.

‘Explosion of diversity’ sweeps U.S.
Except of course, where the 10 Commandments are concerned.

Access to new HIV prevention methods lacking
Abstinence now considered “nearly unobtainable.”

Lebanese troops to head south Thursday
Expect to be in Jerusalem by Sunday   

Britney Spears’ second pregnancy unplanned
“Oops! She did it again”


London’s Muslim youth hear many voices
Might explain some things…

Rescuer ‘Green Helmet’ injured in fighting
No. Really. This is legit.  Honest.  He didn’t just lie down and rub dirt on his face.  Promise.

Bush pitches economy from a Harley
“Economy was talking trash, so I gave ‘im the ol’ heave-ho,” says President.  

Europe high-speed train sees passenger jump
Train the only witness so far to apparent suicide.

  1. kontan says:

    sometimes it’s just too easy…headlines, always good for a laugh.

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